Amy Tan's "Fish Cheeks"
discusses the weird place that many Chinese-Americans (or anyone who is stuck
between two cultures, really) inevitably find themselves in -- the place where
they have to either publicly display or deny their affiliation with
"customs" like burping at the table and eating obscure body parts of
animals. The weirdest thing about this place is that I've been there with my
parents.
When I was younger, I viewed my
parents as one-dimensional, wholly Chinese, and unaware of the "American
ways". I always thought that I was more aware of the cultural differences,
and more knowledgeable of the ways I should and shouldn't act. But, more and
more, I realize that we're in the same boat, me and my parents -- actually,
they are probably in a smaller, more dangerous boat passing through a sea of
alligators, as they have obviously faced many more challenges and overcome more
alienation than I since they immigrated here in the 80's. And though they have,
of course, retained many of the values and habits of Chinese culture (we are a
very stereotypically Asian family), their lives are in America. In fact, as of a couple
years ago, they have officially lived in America for a majority of their lives. And, in fact, when my mom told me this piece of information, she jokingly asked me whether she was becoming a typical American. Although it doesn't seem like
it, my parents are hyper-aware of the way American culture affects their
lifestyles as well as their identities. In short, they're Chinese-Americans,
too.
I don't think it's a matter of,
as Tan puts it, being Chinese on "the inside" and American on the
"outside"...I don't even really know what that means. My parents and
I are all Chinese on the inside and out, as well as Americans through and
through. My parents take care to preserve our culture and make sure my sister and I understand where we come from, but they truly take more care to love us and allow us do what makes our lives fulfilling, outside of any cultural
context.
Happy Chinese New Year, by the
way.
Lillian, I love you (and this) <3 Also, I liked your message of doing "what makes [life] fulfilling, outside of any cultural context" [the wording was perfect, too]. That's what people need to focus on, rather than where they were born or where they live.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I didn't really get/like the whole being-Chinese-on-the-"inside"-and-American-on-the-"outside" thing either.
P.S.S. Happy Chinese New Year!
I have nothing to add to Sneha's astute commentary.
ReplyDelete